
The thought of the original tiling project was fraught with negative memories. Each time it came to mind - the incompleteness of the job the workers did, their inability to listen to our wants and their wastefulness of materials - these many unpleasant memories surfaced to the point that I could not even look at the floors without cringing. And the mere thought of one day living in this house full-time did not bring me joy.
When the day came to start the project, the contents of each room were removed, the floor swept and properly cleaned. Once dry, gloves, facemask and kneepads were donned, windows were opened and fans positioned for optimal air circulation. I said a prayer, dropped onto my knees and began to meticulously sweep any remaining debris from every nook, cranny, corner and grout line prior to applying the sealant. As I worked, I tried to not think negatively about this tiled floor and forced myself to sing an old hymn or praise song to override the unhappy thoughts. I was not far into the song when the notes froze in my throat.
From my five-foot-something height, the floor looked fairly decent overall. Now that I was on my knees, I could more closely scrutinize the ‘professional’ end product of our costly tile project. The imperfections were seen wherever I looked. There were small holes in the grout, rough finishes, uneven lines, raised corners of tile and chipped tiles that were actually cracked in places. I’m not sure if I was angrier at the workers for their poor work ethic, or at my husband and I for hiring these contractors in the first place.
Father, help me see my way through this storm of emotion. I do not want this anger to rise up each time I look at this floor for the rest of my life. Help me!
As I prayed, I eventually began to see that this floor and I have much in common. From a distance, we both look presentable, and on some days, look good when we’re freshly cleaned up, especially when the sun is shining.
Like the floor, if I’m under close scrutiny, my flaws can be seen. I have imperfections that I try to hide; holes or gaps in unfinished (or should I say immature) areas of my inner landscape; rough finishes on other areas where I tried to rush through spiritual lessons that I haven’t quite fully learned; chips and cracks in areas that were damaged by circumstances or situations that left vivid scars from battles fought; and misaligned areas that have left edges exposed and prone to oversensitivity.
Job 14:17 NIV “My offenses will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin.”
Tears blurred my eyes as I applied the sealant. Even in this floor situation, the Holy Spirit spoke words of healing to my aching heart.
Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
I am sealed by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13b) and through Him I was able to willfully and honestly forgive the workers who laid the tile when I asked for His help. And as I did, the anger melted. I could not help but praise the Lord for helping me even in this seemingly little situation that impacted me so big.
All of the grout lines have sealant on them now. While the floors look much the same as they did before they were sealed, I see them differently. I see them, and myself, as I really am. Flawed yet accepted. Imperfect yet loved. Both of us sealed in love for the times to come.
What is it in your life that causes anger to well up in you whenever you see or think about it? If you ask Him, the Holy Spirit will help you.
1 Peter 5:7 AMP “Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].”
The choice is yours. He’s waiting for you.
(For more information about forming a relationship with the Lord, see How You Can Find Him located at the top of this page.)